Good morning! Netflix just bought Warner Bros.

In October of this year, internationally loathed CEO David Zaslav made the move everyone figured he was going to eventually and put the company he’d ruined up for sale. David Ellison of Skydance Media loudly announced his intent to buy the studio, despite having just bought a studio (Paramount). Comcast was also interested, and already owns Universal. In the corner was Netflix, who owned no studios yet and seemed like a long shot.

For a time it seemed like Paramount Skydance was going to win this, despite being the worst pick of the litter. Then two days ago Ellison started whining that the game was “rigged” in favor of Netflix and openly accused specific WBA executives of bias and putting “personal interests” first. This is not the statement you want to make if you are still under consideration for a major purchase and…trying to PLEASE them.

Whether it was Ellison’s mouth or something else, it ain’t gonna be Paramount. Three hours ago WB shook hands with Netflix for the agreed price of $82.7 billion. This might have more to do with shareholder value: Netflix shares are very prized and Paramount shares are poo-poo, to the extent that their bid was 100% cash, no shares involved. That kind of thing matters to a guy like Zaslav.

So what does this mean? It means after years of claiming streaming was the one and only way to be entertained, Netflix could now find itself the manager of movie studios, cable networks, comic books and video game companies. Awk-waaaard.

Of course we all know this is about the “IP is king” philosophy, and Netflix didn’t really have any. Aside from their handful of big hits over the last ten years, they’ve been subsisting on K-dramas and true crime. This would add a hundred years of movies, TV, and iconic characters to their library instantly.

“Our mission has always been to entertain the world,” Netflix’s Ted Sarandos said earlier today. “By combining Warner Bros.’ incredible library of shows and movies — from timeless classics like Casablanca and Citizen Kane to modern favorites like Harry Potter and Friends — with our culture-defining titles like Stranger Things, KPop Demon Hunters and Squid Game, we’ll be able to do that even better. Together, we can give audiences more of what they love and help define the next century of storytelling.”

If you’d prefer this not happen, well…it’s not a done deal. We’re sure Ellison, spoiled vengeful brat that he is, won’t appreciate being slighted and will make it his life’s mission to torpedo the deal at the federal regulator level. Other powerful voices are also in opposition and they have more legitimate concerns, like less competition and fewer jobs. (But that hasn’t stopped a merger before!)

Are Rumi, Zoey and Mira about to team up with the Powerpuff Girls? Is Eleven going to be in Space Jam 3? Time and events in this unfolding drama will tell.

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